If we like it, shouldn't we do it? NO.
This was the recent exchange between myself and an adamant lady at a recent talk I gave where I expressly stated that women lose respect in the workplace when they constantly do the traditional female tasks. Don't be the note taker just because you're the girl. Don't always buy the boss their holiday gift or plan the annual party. These tasks may endear you to your peers but they won't see you as a leader. Regardless of whether or not you like doing them, only do administrative tasks when it is your turn. Respect is earned, ladies and gentlemen, and though this may sound ridiculous to some of you I promise you that doing tasks that are seen as domestic skills change the way women are viewed in the workplace.
Additionally this sentiment holds true in our personal lives. Recently I went to a painful gathering that my husband used as his trump card for the 10 million favors he has done for me lately. I was talking with a group of ladies who joked about not bringing their designated "party contribution" because the host was such a Betty Crocker that she would over compensate anyway. As I watched this super woman, the hostess, operate on what I am convined had to be cool-aid spiked with amphetamines, I wanted to say, "DEMAND MORE. Don't let these vultures take advantage of you."All the parties were her responsibility, her husband bragged that she did a better job than his mother. As I watched her smile seeming to be happy I felt that facade concealed her secret organized mental breakdown.
Change can happen anytime for any reason. People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Fairy Tales
As young girls, well when I was a young girl anyway, EVERY fairy tale was based on a princess or a peasant girl who waited for her knight to ride up on his white horse and make her happy. She then lived happily ever after. Refreshingly, today's female animated characters seem to have HUTZSPA, panache and enough self confidence to fill an auditorium...HALLELUIAH!
However, there is still the underlying suggestion that a man completes us. I disagree. I wrote "Saddle Up Your Own White Horse" for this very reason. No, not to bash man but to let them off the hook for our happiness. A man should compliment us not complete us. It is our job to complete ourselves, man in tow or not. Please don't misunderstand I will have many blog entries on what men can do better but with equal balance I want to provide tips for women as well. Bashing, complaining and whining takes us backwards and women are best at supporting, promoting and uplifting as long as we start with ourselves first.
My impetus for this blog has been the many questions I have recently received from women and men considering my book for their reading pleasure. They want to know upfront if this is an anti-man book. A resounding NO is the answer. I have a husband, a son, a father, a brother and 2 of my very best friends of which I have very few are men. Don't bite the hand that feeds you as they say. I am very clear about my mission statement, " To ignite, support and empower every woman to put herself first without guilt knowing it is the only way to give quality back to others." If a man is your obstacle than yes, I support moving around him and beyond him. If a man oppresses you, run as fast as you can. Otherwise become the person you most admire, be the partner you wish you could find or just wake up every day and positively impact every person you touch. As women it is our gracious gift to naturally give back to others. I just want that to start with you first.
However, there is still the underlying suggestion that a man completes us. I disagree. I wrote "Saddle Up Your Own White Horse" for this very reason. No, not to bash man but to let them off the hook for our happiness. A man should compliment us not complete us. It is our job to complete ourselves, man in tow or not. Please don't misunderstand I will have many blog entries on what men can do better but with equal balance I want to provide tips for women as well. Bashing, complaining and whining takes us backwards and women are best at supporting, promoting and uplifting as long as we start with ourselves first.
My impetus for this blog has been the many questions I have recently received from women and men considering my book for their reading pleasure. They want to know upfront if this is an anti-man book. A resounding NO is the answer. I have a husband, a son, a father, a brother and 2 of my very best friends of which I have very few are men. Don't bite the hand that feeds you as they say. I am very clear about my mission statement, " To ignite, support and empower every woman to put herself first without guilt knowing it is the only way to give quality back to others." If a man is your obstacle than yes, I support moving around him and beyond him. If a man oppresses you, run as fast as you can. Otherwise become the person you most admire, be the partner you wish you could find or just wake up every day and positively impact every person you touch. As women it is our gracious gift to naturally give back to others. I just want that to start with you first.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Where Art Thou Hillary?
Have you ever felt so disheartened about a national topic that you simply just couldn't talk about it? The cover of The Economist , June 7th-13th states "America at its best" and has a photo of Senator Obama and Senator McCain. I respectfully disagree. America at its best would have the first woman nominee.
I try to practice what I preach and so I focus on what I DO want rather than what I don't want so this entry today is not about Obama or McCain, it's about my deep sadness that more people, women perhaps, didn't rally behind Hillary. Is this unfair? I have heard many women indignantly state, "I would never vote for someone just because she is woman." Robin Morgan said,"Me, I’m voting for Hillary not because she’s a woman—but because I am."
I have so many words but no words. I caught myself making an excuse that my voice is only one voice so what more could I have done. I quickly stopped that victim mentality knowing that one voice strengthens with conviction, with connections, with collaboration. Did I personally do enough? No. There is really only one person I can blame. I guess this is my lesson in self responsibility. Control what you can so you can sleep at night. I sat at a table tonight with 7 people as they reviewed blow by blow every bad choice the Clinton campaign made. They even chimed in unison, "The candidate turned out to be surprisingly fabulous but her organization failed her." When every commentator and newsperson in America repeatedly states,"Her concession speech had class and grace. It was the best speech of the campaign." I feel physically ill. They wait until now to notice any attributes? Dramatic? Maybe not.
I will take this energy and create a call to action to the women who already feel confident standing up for what they want in their households and at the office and encourage them to extend that to politics. Am I suggessting that women allowed men to bully them or intimidate them into anti Hillary beliefs? Maybe so.
I try to practice what I preach and so I focus on what I DO want rather than what I don't want so this entry today is not about Obama or McCain, it's about my deep sadness that more people, women perhaps, didn't rally behind Hillary. Is this unfair? I have heard many women indignantly state, "I would never vote for someone just because she is woman." Robin Morgan said,"Me, I’m voting for Hillary not because she’s a woman—but because I am."
I have so many words but no words. I caught myself making an excuse that my voice is only one voice so what more could I have done. I quickly stopped that victim mentality knowing that one voice strengthens with conviction, with connections, with collaboration. Did I personally do enough? No. There is really only one person I can blame. I guess this is my lesson in self responsibility. Control what you can so you can sleep at night. I sat at a table tonight with 7 people as they reviewed blow by blow every bad choice the Clinton campaign made. They even chimed in unison, "The candidate turned out to be surprisingly fabulous but her organization failed her." When every commentator and newsperson in America repeatedly states,"Her concession speech had class and grace. It was the best speech of the campaign." I feel physically ill. They wait until now to notice any attributes? Dramatic? Maybe not.
I will take this energy and create a call to action to the women who already feel confident standing up for what they want in their households and at the office and encourage them to extend that to politics. Am I suggessting that women allowed men to bully them or intimidate them into anti Hillary beliefs? Maybe so.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Confession
I read the book POSTSECRET . It is a compilation of confessions from strangers. They were all placed on self addressed and stamped postcards and mailed to Frank Warren who compiled them in a book. It is the perfect gift for the "difficult to buy for" or the "interesting" people you know. I hope I make that list.
Why am I telling you this? My new book hit bookstores on May 15th: "Saddle Up Your Own White Horse:5 Principles Every Woman Needs to Know." My confession is that I have purposefully avoided writing in an "unedited" manner in my own blog for fear that I will become too comfortable. Addicted to sharing all the millions of things I think at every moment of every day. I have been cautious and balanced and the confession is that I feel caged so I am releasing myself today. I plan to say everything about anything that interests me because sometimes information is best conveyed in an unedited, naked way and only then can it be heard.
It feels good to confess.
Why am I telling you this? My new book hit bookstores on May 15th: "Saddle Up Your Own White Horse:5 Principles Every Woman Needs to Know." My confession is that I have purposefully avoided writing in an "unedited" manner in my own blog for fear that I will become too comfortable. Addicted to sharing all the millions of things I think at every moment of every day. I have been cautious and balanced and the confession is that I feel caged so I am releasing myself today. I plan to say everything about anything that interests me because sometimes information is best conveyed in an unedited, naked way and only then can it be heard.
It feels good to confess.
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