65 Years Ago

The following is a portion of an article entitled, “Eleven Tips For Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees” written by L. H. Sanders for the 1943 edition of Mass Transportation Magazine. Thankfully, these outrageous regulations cannot be mandated in today’s workplace, but if you read between the lines, I think you may agree that many of them are still tacitly in place. For some provocative comments on these antiquated and chauvinist “rules”, check out http://www.feministing.com/archives/008544.html

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6 Give the female employees a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

His Cheatin' Heart...Gene

Science is surprising us daily with new discoveries. And this latest discovery may help women make better choices in romantic male partners should they require their mate’s be monogamous. Yes, I actually know women who don’t have this requirement.

It seems that men are more likely to be devoted and loyal husbands when they lack a particular variant of a gene that influences brain activity. In other words, there is a direct link between a man’s genes and his aptitude for monogamy.

The gene variant (allele 334) regulates the activity of a hormone in the brain known as vasopressin (present in two of every five men). The study revealed that one species of voles (also known as meadow mice) has receptors for a male version of the hormone, vasopressin, and one doesn't. As you may have suspected, one species is monogamous, the other isn’t. The prairie vole is monogamous, while his close relative, the meadow mole is polygamous. .
So, ladies, if one day there is a blood test to determine whether or not a man will be more likely than not to be faithful, you will have the humble little prairie vole to thank. Until then, it might be wise to do as one woman suggested – and that is to keep a separate checking account.

Check out the link here for more on this study. http://www.ajc.com/business/content/health/stories/2008/09/01/monogamy_study_marriage.html

Happiness

I love a great debate but most importantly I love effective communicators. Those speakers who know just when to tug on our heart strings and just when to use grit and common sense vs. sophisticated vocabulary. There can be a clear difference between effective and eloquent communicators and the two can be mutually exclusive. I bring this up because of the enraged emotions Sarah Palin’s nomination has sparked with so many women. This heated up as a result of her effective acceptance speech. I have somehow become the sounding board of these angry, aggressive women who to this historical moment in time seemed to be quite docile and passive. I am actually grateful something jolted them back into life but BALANCE must be suggested or they may self induce heart failure. Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to be passionate about something but diplomatic grace will sway more people to your way of thinking and passion can be expressed without anger and negativity.

So today I divert my blog discussion to happiness. Good old fashioned happiness. If you Google “happiness,” you will get 87,000,000 results. That’s 87 MILLION!

In this lecture, Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/97

He says our "psychological immune system" lets us feel real, enduring happiness even when things don't go as planned. He goes on to explain that we are able to “synthesize” happiness. He defines “natural happiness” as being what we get when we get what we want, and “synthetic happiness” is what we make when we don’t get what we want.

All of us, he says, have this capacity for synthesizing happiness, but some of us do it better than others. He urges us to cultivate that ability. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn't have preferences in life. But we should keep our preferences bounded. When our ambition is bounded it leads us to work joyfully.

Tis nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
- Shakespeare

Mommy Wars-Campaign Edition

Here we go again. Women are attacking each other in the one area of our lives where we have so much in common: motherhood. The Mommy Wars have heated up. Sarah Palin’s entrance into the political arena has revived this skirmish in a big way.

Just when many women were coming to terms with the idea that it is acceptable to work and raise children, Sarah’s abrupt and outspoken entrance on the political scene has again provoked controversy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/02/us/politics/02mother.html?_r=1&em&oref=slogin

But we’re still faced with the same old question: Can we have it all? It seems the media is trying to convince us it isn’t possible: that being a good mother and having a robust career are two statements not to be uttered in the same breath. I am frankly bored with this same old rhetoric. Though I could have found more eloquent words to sum it up, women consistently having to defend themselves as working mothers is just plain boring. Can’t we find something else to talk about other than judging our ability to multitask effectively? Let’s face it, everyone knows we are simply better at that than men. So I looked for, and found, a recent study with statistics polling people on which sex makes the better leader, and women come out on top. http://pewresearch.org/pubs/932/men-or-women-whos-the-better-leader

One thing is apparent. This battle of balance is not going to go away anytime soon, and the addition of Sarah Palin on the political scene, is stirring it up to a boiling point. This campaign has brought women’s issues to the forefront again – and that’s a good thing.

W-O-M-A-N

Sarah Palin is all over the news. Let’s face it, she has revived some hot topics about what it means to be a woman, like: Can she handle the No. 2 position in the country and still do justice as a mother to her five children? And if John McCain wins the election and something should happen resulting in his untimely demise, could Sarah handle the difficult position of being President of the United States and still be a loving and attentive mother to her children?

Of course, we never ever hear this same question being asked of a male candidate and my answer is, "we can do anything you can do..."

This controversy reminded of two wonderful songs from several decades ago about women’s strengths. One by Peggy Lee (“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…cuz I’m a woman”) and another by Helen Reddy (“I am woman – hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore…”).

Here are two superb videos that capture those great empowering lyrics. Turn up the volume and rock out. The first one is a poignant tribute to women who have suffered abuse. It’s powerful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D5KMUIqV-4&feature=related

The other is an iconic recording of Johnny Cash and Peggy Lee from 1971 singing Peggy Lee’s great song about bringing home the bacon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfz-aSyPIBo

So remember ladies, we are strong and powerful women, and we are invincible. And for those men who may be reading this blog, don’t pout. You can be strong and smart too especially if you have a great woman supporting you.

The 60-40 Solution

How many times do you have a genuine “ah-ha” moment? I believe it’s important to share these sporadic insights. Maybe that is the reason blogs are so abundant. It feels good to put these ideas into writing in the hopes that they will resonate with someone else.

Recently I had one of these rare “ah-ha” moments when I was fantasizing about digging a shallow grave in my backyard where I could place my husband’s body after I bludgeoned him to death with his surfboard. Then I realized that I, more so than anyone else I talk to, have to be deliberate about practicing what I preach. I found myself thinking, “What would I tell one of my clients who was feeling the way I was?”

As a new mom, a full time career woman, not to mention my roles as daughter and friend of the year - oh and let’s not forget – the perfect wife, I found myself resenting my husband for not carrying his weight. This resentment seemed to compound at record breaking speed, and all of a sudden days felt like years that I have been carrying around this antipathy for my husband, whom I now sarcastically call the “Prince.”

The minute my son wakes up, he is like a robot with one word repeatedly popping out of his mouth over and over and over: “Mama, Mama, Mama.” I can’t even brush my teeth, much less get dressed. Meanwhile, the Prince is acting like he’s staying at the Four Seasons, leisurely reading his paper and drinking coffee.

So, rather than lash out at the Prince, I unleashed my frustration on a friend who started “The Six Figure Mom’s Club.” http://sixfiguremomsclub.com After her laughter had subsided, she said, “These are things almost every wife and mother feels at one time or another, but won't say out loud.” She then referred me to her free report “10 reasons you might not feel like other moms” which is also on her homepage.

Smart women just seem to know the best remedy for every problem.

Back to my “ah-ha” moment. How can I expect my husband to know about any of my bitter feelings when the only people I ever tell are other women? So I created a diplomatic and loving memo from me to my husband, because thoughts put into writing become actions. I spelled out the exact ways our household contributions can be made more equal. Please note that I don’t ever actually expect the roles will be 50-50, and when it comes to my son, I am willing and happy to accept 60-40. But 70-30 is the deal breaker.

If you identify with this dilemma, here’s a tip: Make a list. Write out the five, six or ten things that it takes to make your household run effortlessly, and put your name by six of them and his name by four, and start releasing the resentment. It made all the difference for me. No more fantasies about grave digging. Now I’m perfectly content to see my husband take off with his favorite surfboard and blissfully hit the waves - after he gets our son dressed and feeds him breakfast.