Mrs. Hughes

I saw this video and saved it. I actually save the best written or video humorous clips I receive never knowing why or when I will need it, but I always need it, and it always recycles as funny as the first time I saw it. I have a side file that simply says “laughter” and in it I promise that no matter how dark or light your version of humor is, I have what the doctor ordered. It is the only file that I can never seem to clean out because laughing never goes out of style but too often it gets overlooked. This life really isn’t meant to be taken too seriously and those who we admire most, mostly all agree.

“My life has been one great joke. A dance that’s walked, A song that’s spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.” Maya Angelou

I hope you enjoy Mrs. Hughes.

Christian the Lion

In this sometimes contentious world it is so nice to unexpectedly see a video that pulls on your heart strings and makes you just stop and say, “Ain’t Love Grand!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U

CSV: "Common-Sense Violations"

I had dinner out last night with a very old friend. He is not chronologically old but rather old in wisdom and old in the length of time he has put up with me as one of his best friends. I always direct the conversation because there are times when I choose not to talk at all and would rather people watch. (You would be amazed at the incredible, soap-opera-like lives I create for perfect strangers. It is also important to note that I sometimes introduce myself to these strangers and share my created stories. This usually happens following a very large glass of wine, but my point is that in all cases, their real lives were much more incredible than I had imagined.)

Last night I turned the lead in the conversation over to Sir Strutherford (pseudonym to protect the innocent) and he decided to engage in a game of "Truth." I had convinced him in previous settings that we are much too old now to play the full game of "Truth or Dare" because his dares included singing the full national anthem in quiet restaurants and speaking to every person I saw in a crowded mall for one hour and calling them each "sweet honey muffin." His first question: "Name what you like best about my mind?" My reply: "It works slower than mine so I have the ability to mind control you." Then came his answer: "Your unduplicated way of being real about the day-to-day insanity of life and making common sense seem so profound." That was his answer. Sir Strutherford in all his glory made me smile like a Cheshire cat.

I have actually not stopped thinking about it as you can see by this lengthy blog sharing the gritty details. In fact, I made a commitment to myself to stop being superficially nice and start being as "real" as logic would allow. The gloves have come off, so to speak, and I am just going to say everything in the way I would say it to my friend when no one else can hear.

What are these things? Let's start with a few, and I promise to share at least one CSV--"Common-Sense Violation"--a month. I hope you will share yours as well.

CSV: Women who walk around in air-conditioned malls or outside on rainy, cold days carrying their babies who are wearing nothing but a onesie--no blanket, no jacket. We should all have big red warning tickets so we can just hand these out without having to say anything except to write the violation on the back. Let's face it, they need it spelled out. HELLO, if you are wearing pants and a long-sleeved shirt, maybe it's a good idea to keep your child above freezing temperatures.

CSV: Men who really think they are spending quality time with their kids when they are watching television, handing off random toys while never shifting their eyes away from the television. HELLO, placating your children is the reason they always seem to prefer mommy when you are trying to be Daddy of the Year in social settings.

Common sense is underrated, but not in "50 Success Classics." http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1857883330
This book is a compilation of the 50 most important and inspiring books that have helped readers unleash their potential. See how many times the term "common sense" is used in it.

Send this to my wife, please?

We have all seen, heard and read many insights into the male psyche. I tell women that it is us who are the complex enigmas we pretend men to be. They are, they want to be and they are not insulted by being called simple creatures...as long as that gets them fed, sex and time to watch their shows.

This very simple list found it's way into my e-mail and it just sums up a man's perspective. Just to be sure I asked 10 very different men if they agreed and they all said, "finally a quick guide for women, will you send that to my wife, please?"

Note: They are all numbered one on purpose.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments are null after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,’ We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but it's not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.

Kindness Leads to Happiness

Can mean people become kind? Can a heart be warmed? Is there a soft side to everyone that just simply must be revealed?

Can you fake it till you make it?

Kindness can be learned and as our mothers taught us, practice makes perfect. Try practicing random acts of kindness. Start with people standing in waiting lines with you. Notice something good about someone and just say it. It doesn't have to be dramatic. "That scarf looks great on you." "I really like your haircut." "Very handsome tie. Reply to the checkout person, "Thanks for asking me how I am. How are you?" Let someone behind you with 2 items cut in front of you and insist they accept your offer.

I thought I had more than enough cash for 2 coffees but I was 72 cents short. A lady sitting at a table in Starbucks was watching me and she stood up walked over and gave me a dollar bill. I said, "Oh, I couldn't." She said,"Oh but you can if you let yourself" so I did and I liked it. Two days later, same Starbucks, there I was and the woman ahead of me in line was short $1.20 and as she put her cookie back I returned the favor that was paid to me and I liked it.

I have since then committed to a minimum of 2 kind acts a day and have purposefully thought of ways to say nice things so they will not seem staged. Toasts are a great way to say things that you think eveyone knows but need to hear again. "Tonight I want to say thanks for being such a supportive husband and for understanding when I need to be out 2 nights a week building my business." Gratitude, reinforcement and future acceptance can all be accomplished at the same time. "Thank you for always being a good friend to me": this statement can seem corny when randomly shared, but over an ice tea at lunch with the clink of two glass, it is endearing.

Never be the person who is described as treating strangers better than the ones they are supposed to love the most. Kindness leads to happiness.

Be happy http://thehappyguy.com/define-happiness

Respect Is Earned

If we like it, shouldn't we do it? NO.

This was the recent exchange between myself and an adamant lady at a recent talk I gave where I expressly stated that women lose respect in the workplace when they constantly do the traditional female tasks. Don't be the note taker just because you're the girl. Don't always buy the boss their holiday gift or plan the annual party. These tasks may endear you to your peers but they won't see you as a leader. Regardless of whether or not you like doing them, only do administrative tasks when it is your turn. Respect is earned, ladies and gentlemen, and though this may sound ridiculous to some of you I promise you that doing tasks that are seen as domestic skills change the way women are viewed in the workplace.

Additionally this sentiment holds true in our personal lives. Recently I went to a painful gathering that my husband used as his trump card for the 10 million favors he has done for me lately. I was talking with a group of ladies who joked about not bringing their designated "party contribution" because the host was such a Betty Crocker that she would over compensate anyway. As I watched this super woman, the hostess, operate on what I am convined had to be cool-aid spiked with amphetamines, I wanted to say, "DEMAND MORE. Don't let these vultures take advantage of you."All the parties were her responsibility, her husband bragged that she did a better job than his mother. As I watched her smile seeming to be happy I felt that facade concealed her secret organized mental breakdown.

Change can happen anytime for any reason. People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.

Fairy Tales

As young girls, well when I was a young girl anyway, EVERY fairy tale was based on a princess or a peasant girl who waited for her knight to ride up on his white horse and make her happy. She then lived happily ever after. Refreshingly, today's female animated characters seem to have HUTZSPA, panache and enough self confidence to fill an auditorium...HALLELUIAH!

However, there is still the underlying suggestion that a man completes us. I disagree. I wrote "Saddle Up Your Own White Horse" for this very reason. No, not to bash man but to let them off the hook for our happiness. A man should compliment us not complete us. It is our job to complete ourselves, man in tow or not. Please don't misunderstand I will have many blog entries on what men can do better but with equal balance I want to provide tips for women as well. Bashing, complaining and whining takes us backwards and women are best at supporting, promoting and uplifting as long as we start with ourselves first.

My impetus for this blog has been the many questions I have recently received from women and men considering my book for their reading pleasure. They want to know upfront if this is an anti-man book. A resounding NO is the answer. I have a husband, a son, a father, a brother and 2 of my very best friends of which I have very few are men. Don't bite the hand that feeds you as they say. I am very clear about my mission statement, " To ignite, support and empower every woman to put herself first without guilt knowing it is the only way to give quality back to others." If a man is your obstacle than yes, I support moving around him and beyond him. If a man oppresses you, run as fast as you can. Otherwise become the person you most admire, be the partner you wish you could find or just wake up every day and positively impact every person you touch. As women it is our gracious gift to naturally give back to others. I just want that to start with you first.