Stay At Home Moms Need a Job Description

For better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. Until, of course, your youngest child is in kindergarten. Then your husband gets to judge you, make you feel like a failure and ask you to justify your very existence.

If you are a stay at home mom and this scenario didn’t happen to you, consider yourself lucky and a good judge of character for picking a mate who values your contribution. Otherwise, read on.

For stay at home moms, a joint decision is made, usually upon procreation, that the most valuable use of her time, effort and energy is to work in the home. The key word is work. Shockingly there really are no mimosas for breakfast, bon bons at noon and mid-day martinis. What you might find is shopping and diapers and nap time and schedules with bottles and rattles and strollers and blankies and binkies and MAYHEM! Seriously men do you really think this is so much easier than your work life with adults who feed and bathe and walk unassisted without pulling your ears, spitting up on your clothes and crying relentlessly for no apparent reason at all? I suggest you read the “Adventures of SuperMom.”

This is not a complaint but justification for the job that we fondly, and begrudgingly, call a stay at home mom. “I appreciate everything my wife does” is the chorus we hear, but the song ends with, “Once the kids are in school all day what does she do? Why can’t she at least get a part-time job?” Many men will go on to actually admit that they don’t feel their spouse is an equal contributor but they certainly like it when there is food in the refrigerator, shaving cream in the bathroom, folded laundry and the kids are magically shuttled to every imaginable activity all without bothering the iconic breadwinner. Double standard? Definitely!

One solution is a job description. Every stay at home mom should create a list of the things she does that get overlooked. Leave nothing out. This is not the time to be modest. Men are not mind readers, and they will be amazed at all the things you do to make their lives more livable. You may be thinking this is ridiculous. “Why should I have to create a job description to justify raising kids or maintaining a home?” You already do the work so take the credit. This will also help build and maintain your own self respect once you see how much you accomplish in one day.

You’ve chosen a noble profession and love your work. Now send in those job descriptions.

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